help

It's been a tough year so far, when is it not? So far, I have lost on e roommate and gained another. I really like my new roommate, we have a lot in common. The only problem is that he's never here. He comes in occasionally just to say hi and lay down, but that's it. Another thing is that the friends I usually hang out with are always hanging out with other people, or not really inviting me out with them. This one night they were all together, I asked them what they were going to do that night, and one of my friends said they were going to hang out in Evansville, a big town about 30 miles from here. Without me saying a word he just blurted out you can't come because it will be dark and you won't be able to do what we're going to do. As you might already know, that comment hurt me. He just said that without any regard to my feelings.

I've been walking a little more at nights since that happened. The sad part is that I start to cry while I'm walking. It's getting harder for me to see at nights, and it's not like any of the higher-ups cares about any of the students here. All we are is a paycheck to them. I heard recently from a friend that they had a meeting about the security problems on campus. They brought up the lights. Some would think that I would be excited about this development, but it just pissed me off. I requested something be done about the lights early last semester, for my benefit, but the only way they'll discuss it is if it is a security benefit. I'll tell ya now, blind people are persecuted a lot more than people think.

Tonight, I was walking around the campus, thinking. I wonder, if God wanted us to enjoy the earth, then why can I not see half of the beauty? There is a saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". But I ask you, If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm blind, can I truly see beauty?" (For those of you that don't know, I'm not completely blind right now, I have an eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa. I am just night blind right now. For more information on this eye disease, go to http://www.blindness.org .) Anyways, other than all of that, I have been content. I miss home right now because they have snow. We might get some tonight and tomorrow, but we're not sure.

In the current events section, I heard on the news today that in Boston, there was a third party advertising company helping to advertise a TV show called Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Well, the advertisers put mini-billboards in various places in Boston, as well as 10 other cities. The billboard was a small, light-bright board with a character from the show on it. They were up for 2-3 weeks. Well, today, someone complained about it because they have never seen or heard of the show or the character. They thought it was a bomb, because it had batteries and wires sticking out of it, and it was under a bridge. There you have it folks, Osama is back and he's burning bridges with cartoons. We all have to throw our TVs out because the cartoons are so bad that they will blow us up. Now they are looking for this person that put the promotion there so they can arrest him. They actually had the freaking military out at the bridge trying to figure out what it was, when all they needed was some teenager out there cheering for the show's return.

In my final rant, I would like to address my sister. I called her the other day because I found out she was having a baby girl. The whole month or so before that, I was joking around about how it was going to be a boy. When I called her, she got the idea that I was disappointed that it was going to be a girl. Well, that's not the case. I'm just happy that she is actually going to have a kid. Sarah, id you read this then I'm sorry I made you feel bad, I didn't mean to and it's tearing me up inside to think that you hate me. I love all my nieces and nephews equally.

Everyone pray for my sisters as they go through maternity. They both know the pain of losing a baby, and so do the rest of the family through them. I love them so much. Just pray for my family, my sisters, my brother, my parents, and my outer family as well. We are all falling on tough times and I am concerned for them all. It's not easy being away from them when the things that are happening are upon them. Pray for me, pray for the world. Thank God for the hard times in our lives, He helps us more than we think.

Time

Wow. I just came to the realization that time is moving quickly. I graduated from High School last year, and now I'm in college, and all my High School friends still hang out with each other. I barely talk to any of them anymore, because I'm busy with my new friends and schoolwork. I hear that some of them are getting married, have steady jobs, and are moving out. It feels weird knowing that I was so close to them before, and now I don't even know how old they are. I sometimes wish that my senior year of high school, that I could have had just one more year with them. But we all had to go our separate ways. I miss them.

But, now I'm in college and have a whole new list of friends. We have some of the same jokes as I did with my friends back home, but it's all different now. I sometimes like to refer to my boyish antics as my sophomoric charm, but now I feel as if it's all slipping away. I feel content to just be the "mature guy" instead of the "wild" one. I guess in life, we all have to grow up eventually. Before I started writing this entry, I was studying my bible to know the chronological order of Job. He was more than likely alive before Moses. At dinner, I don't make as many jokes about farting and "nut slaps", instead I started a conversation about politics. I just feel like I am losing my old side, and getting a fresh new start. And the weirdest part is, I like it. I like having intellectual conversations with friends. I like to hang out and not get in trouble. Most people say that they hated college, but right now I love it. I still joke around of course, because no matter how mature you get, you still need a little sophomoric charm to bring you down to earth.

Time, it's such a puzzling thing. It's there, then it's gone, and no matter how hard you try, you can never go back. I think it will be amazing when I am dead. God has no time-table, He is infinite. I try to think like this every once in a while. It somehow eases my mind to know that there is something that I will never understand, in this life anyways.

That's it for today Ladies and Gentlemen. Take this piece of information and chew on it for a bit. Meditate on it. Get back to me with your opinions. And remember to keep this in prayer. Pray for the country, pray for the world, pray for yourself, pray for me.

Here I go Again

I have discovered my new favorite song, for the time being. It is 'Here I Go Again' by Whitesnake. It is one of the greatest love ballads. I especially like the chorus. It says, "Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known, like a drifter I was born to walk alone". It explains me so well. I tend to wonder off myself. I tend to purposely separate myself from the crowds. I truly walk alone, in my own eyes.

I have finally caught up on all the things I needed to get done up here at college. This semester is going well for me for the time being. I got really pissed off today because I went to make a sandwich and found my lunch meat was stolen. It must have happened last night when I was in my friends room. I just don't see how people can live with the guilt. I guess it must be one hell of a sandwich. Joke's on them though, they didn't take the bread or mayo.lol But in a serious matter, I don't understand how someone can go to a Christian university and steal. How can they live with that guilt? The biggest thing that someone has stolen, that I know of, is a car stereo. I'm not sure who did that piece of work, whether it's a "townie" or a student, but whoever it is I hope that their so called conscience catches up with them. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

Continuing from the above subject, I find it quite hilarious what people steal sometimes. Last semester, someone actually stole the flags from the nearby golf course. What in the world are you going to do with gold flags? Do you really have a yard big enough to play golf in? And why would you steal lunch meat? If your that hungry that you resort to stealing food, then get a freaking job. This is the problem with America today. We are to lazy to get a job, but not lazy enough to steal food. tell me where exactly is the line drawn? It takes just as much effort to turn a doorknob and open a fridge as it does to punch numbers in a cash register all day. I don't know why people are so idiotic in the world today. And yes I do admit to saying and doing idiotic things myself, but I wouldn't steal bologna or beg for money like everyone else. I would try to get a job, even if it is at McDonald's flipping burgers, which ironically are not even flipped at all.

Anyways, from one rant to another, I'm fired up tonight. I flip through the news and see only 1 headline the last few days. That headline is, and I quote, "Miracle in Missouri". The whole point behind the headline is that 2 kids were apparently "kid-napped", one for 4 years and the other for 4 days. Both of the kids were over the age of 10 when they were "kid-napped". They were also allowed to go outside and go to school, stay at friends houses.???? Is anyone else as confused as I am? I mean the kids are out side, their pictures are on milk cartons, billboards, news stations. Who doesn't notice a missing kid standing next to his billboard? And if the kids were truly "kid-napped", then why not run home, or call the cops? My opinion is the the kids hated it at home so much, that they decided to make a friend. Now until this guy who "nabbed em" confesses to sticking a body part in them, against their will, I don't want to freaking hear it!

President Bush. OOH, touchy subject. If I was able to vote the 2 times he was running I would have voted for him. He is a good person. But the recent debate is whether or not he was in the right to send more troops to Iraq. Well, as I see it, he only has this year to leave his mark. And like everyone who goes away, you want to score big in the record books. Give the guy a break, I mean look how much good he has done in his presidency, enough good to get him elected again. My uncle came to visit a few months ago, and he said one of the greatest things in the world. He said that Saddam may have done a lot of things wrong, but at least he got the respect of his nation. He used force to end the wars. Saddam had to be the top dog in order for people to respect him. If he had to blow up a city just to get two rival religions to stop fighting, so be it. The point is that the world is all about respect. Bush looks for respect from us as well. He may not get it from everyone, but what about the soldiers that respect him enough to fulfill his plans? In a way, he gets the respect he deserves.

Well I rambled past my limit, so the last rant will go to my good friend James Greer. If you read this, then congratulations on your marriage. You two deserve each other. I know that you will find a church family who will accept you. Everybody be in prayer for the happy couple. They will graduate at the end of the semester and be off on their own. I will miss them. Pray for them, pray for the nation, pray for the world.

friends

Home sweet college. I was happy to get back, at first. I was excited to see friends and catch up. I was on my high-horse, on cloud nine. But when I got back, I realized that most of my friends are going to graduate this semester. That knocked me down in litterally a heartbeat. It's amazing the feelings that God gives us. He tells us to be happy and gives us the abillity to be sad. Wow, the irony right now amazes me. At this very moment I have my Windows Media on Shuffle, the ironic thing is that Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing. I was just about to say that I wish people would think of me for once. I don't get invited to everything my friends do, and I get depressed by it. Ironicly the song just switched to Freebird. A great song that always makes me cry. It's good to cry sometimes. It's another feeling that God gave us. To me crying is a sense of release. I can't explain it right now, or probably ever. It was such a good day earlier, but I really got knocked down after my last class. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I get out of my last class at 5:20PM. Being past dark, I stumble to get back to the dorm that's across campus. Pratt still hasn't done a freakin' thing about the lights at the Johnson Center. My sister has some great news, her baby is a boy. He'll be born in June. I will cherish every moment I have with him, and all my nieces and nephews for that matter. Because there could be a day that I lose my vision aand I won't ever get to see them again. There's a chance I may not get to see my wife, or my own kid. Everyone just pray for me. I started this year off one hell of a way. I need prayer. Please leave a comment. Let me just hear from you.

welcome

Hello everyone. instead of doing the MySpace blog, I am going to be editing this one now. Last entry I had I told you I was going to the eye doctor. Well he said that my eyes were stable. I love to hear that news. I am still wishing for a cure though. I am currently sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. I woke up at 5PM today. It may be the last good sleep I get in a while. I'm going back to college on Sunday, so pray for me and my drive.

I've lately been thinking about the future and what it holds for me. I've thought about my career, my driving, and even my future wife. Ironically, they are all in one thought. If I ever do get to be a youth minister, or a minister of any kind, then how am I going to get to work? I realize that I need to buckle down and find a girl, someone who can drive at night. As a minister, I will have certain responsibility's to my congregation. It's my responsibility to get to the church and teach them the word of God. It's also my responsibility to God to get there. My eyes have me worried on a daily basis, but they seem to be helping me at the same time. With them being the way they are, I seem to try harder. I feel as if my eyes are helping me to question things in life. To help me think logically. All I have to say is thank God for your weaknesses, they help you more than you think.

I've been bored the last few weeks, as you can tell by the website. I started the website years back, then I quit, and just started back on it. I use a format called HTML, some of you may have heard of it, but it is all code. The code is simple and complex at the same time. I personally like it because I know how to use it. If you ever have some spare time then I suggest that you dabble with it a little bit.

I almost forgot, the past week was Christmas. I'm sure you all, whoever you are, will want to know what it is that I got. I got a DVD Burner. Oh yes, that does mean that I can, and will, make movies. Me and some of my friends have already made one movie. It is called Dorm Warz; Revenge Of The Boredness. It is the second video on the 'Movies' section on my site. The quality isn't that good, but the storyline is awesome. We plan to make two more to go along with it as part of a trilogy. Keep an eye out.

I really have no more to say now so I will leave you with this thought that I have been thinking about. Eeyore on Winnie The Pooh was a donkey. He was also mildly depressed and a pessimist. Another name for a donkey is a jackass. Thus, I am a jackass because I am mildly depressed and also a pessimist. Think about it and leave me a comment. Rock On Eeyore, Rock On